3 Common Mistakes When Dealing with Anxiety (And How to Fix Them)

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health challenges, affecting millions of people worldwide. Whether it manifests as persistent worry, panic attacks, or overwhelming stress, anxiety can significantly impact daily life. Therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes are well-known treatments. However, when stress and anxiety first hit, most people do not understand hence took wrong approaches resulting in more anxiety.

Mistake #1: Avoiding Anxiety Instead of Accepting It

When stress and anxiety strike, your first instinct might be to push the uncomfortable thoughts away. You distract yourself, skip social events, procrastinate, or try to “forget” the feelings—but this only makes things worse.

Trying to suppress anxious thoughts is like being told, “Don’t think about a white bear.” What happens? Your mind fixates on it even more. The harder you fight anxiety, the stronger it becomes.

What to Do Instead:

Dr. Claire Weekes had summerized her approach facing the feared situation, accepting the feeling of panic, floating through it, and letting time pass. This had proven to help many sufferers.

A modern technique is grounding using mindfulness.

Practice Grounding:

• When overwhelmed, pause and let the thoughts flow without judgment. Acknowledge them: “I’m having anxiety about [specific worry].”

Engage Your Senses: Slow racing thoughts by focusing on the present. Observe small details—like the texture of a pencil, its color, or the scent of the air. This shifts your brain from panic mode to curiosity mode.

Mistake #2: Hate yourself

Hating yourself won’t help with anxiety—in fact, it often makes it worse. When you constantly criticize yourself, you reinforce negative thought patterns that fuel anxiety, creating a cycle of self-doubt and fear. Anxiety thrives on perfectionism and self-judgment, so the more you blame yourself for your struggles, the more power you give to your worries. Instead of motivating change, self-hatred leaves you feeling trapped and hopeless, making it even harder to cope with anxious thoughts. True progress begins with self-compassion, not self-punishment.

Learning to treat yourself with kindness can be a powerful tool in managing anxiety. When you shift from self-criticism to understanding, you create space for growth and healing. Acknowledging your struggles without judgment allows you to address them more effectively, rather than being paralyzed by shame. Small steps—like challenging negative thoughts or practicing self-care—can help break the cycle of anxiety and self-hatred. Remember, you deserve patience and support, especially from yourself. Healing isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being kinder to yourself along the way.

What to Do Instead:

Loving yourself is a powerful step in managing anxiety, as it fosters self-compassion and reduces the harsh self-criticism that often fuels anxious thoughts. When you practice self-love, you acknowledge your worth and accept your imperfections, which helps break the cycle of fear and self-doubt. Instead of being overwhelmed by negative self-talk, you learn to treat yourself with kindness, creating a more stable emotional foundation. This shift in mindset can lessen the intensity of anxiety, as self-acceptance allows you to approach challenges with greater confidence and resilience.

Additionally, self-love encourages healthier coping mechanisms, such as setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support when needed. Anxiety often thrives on feelings of inadequacy, but when you truly value yourself, you’re less likely to engage in destructive habits like overthinking or avoidance. By nurturing a positive relationship with yourself, you build the inner strength needed to face anxiety with patience and understanding. Over time, this practice can transform your mental well-being, proving that treating yourself with love is not just an act of kindness—it’s a vital tool for healing.

Mistake #3: Engage in dangerous activities

Engaging in dangerous activities like drinking alcohol or taking drugs might provide short-term relief from stress, pain, or emotional struggles, but the consequences can be severe in the long run. Initially, these substances may create a false sense of escape, numbing negative feelings or temporarily boosting mood. However, repeated use can lead to addiction, deteriorating physical and mental health, financial problems, and damaged relationships. What starts as a quick fix often spirals into a cycle of dependency, making life even harder to manage.

Over time, substance abuse can worsen anxiety, depression, and overall well-being, while also increasing the risk of serious health issues like liver disease, heart problems, or overdose. Instead of solving problems, these habits create new ones, trapping individuals in a harmful pattern. Seeking healthier coping mechanisms—such as therapy, exercise, or support groups—can lead to lasting relief and a more stable, fulfilling life. Breaking free from dangerous activities is challenging, but the long-term benefits far outweigh the fleeting comfort they provide.

What to Do Instead:

Unhooking thoughts is a mindfulness-based technique that can help relieve anxiety by creating distance between oneself and distressing thoughts. Often, anxiety is fueled by repetitive, negative thinking patterns that feel overwhelming and inescapable. Unhooking involves observing these thoughts without judgment, recognizing them as mere mental events rather than absolute truths. By practicing this skill, individuals can reduce the emotional grip of anxious thoughts, allowing them to respond more calmly and intentionally rather than reacting out of fear. Over time, this approach fosters greater mental flexibility and resilience, making it easier to navigate stressful situations without becoming entangled in unhelpful thought cycles.

This technique is particularly useful because it shifts the focus from trying to eliminate anxiety to changing one’s relationship with it. Instead of battling or suppressing anxious thoughts—which often amplifies them—unhooking encourages a gentle acknowledgment that thoughts are temporary and do not define reality. Mindfulness exercises, such as labeling thoughts (“I notice I’m having the thought that…”) or visualizing them as passing clouds, can reinforce this skill. By consistently practicing thought unhooking, individuals can cultivate a sense of inner peace, reducing the intensity and frequency of anxiety over time. This approach empowers people to live more fully in the present moment, rather than being controlled by fear of the future or regrets about the past.